


The Price of Destiny

by archaeologist_d



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arthur is an arse, Canon Era, Canon Fix-It, Canon Universe, Drama, During Canon, Episode: s01e10 The Moment of Truth, Gen, Magic, Will doesn't die, bandits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25844827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaeologist_d/pseuds/archaeologist_d
Summary: Just because magic was forbidden, Merlin wasn’t about to let Will die. No matter the cost.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Will (Merlin)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 80
Collections: Merlin Canon 2020





	The Price of Destiny

Merlin should have been paying attention. He should have been watching for bandits and treachery. But instead, all he could see was Arthur glaring at him and Will, accusing them both of sorcery.

There was hatred there in his eyes and contempt for the use of magic to create the windstorm. There, too, was a determination to capture the sorcerer, to punish him for using magic. Fury at someone who had saved them all.

Hoping to deflect Arthur’s anger, trying desperately to come up with some other reason to explain it all, Merlin didn’t even see Kanen aiming the crossbow at Arthur. He didn’t see the bolt flying toward Arthur’s back.

But Will did.

Will, his best friend, the man who wanted nothing to do with nobles or Camelot or Arthur. Who argued and spat out fury that Merlin would even want to serve such a royal prat. Who wanted to leave but stayed for Merlin.

The next moments were a chaotic nightmare.

In the distance, he could hear the cheers as the bandits were finally routed. He could hear Gwen and Morgana laughing their relief, but it was all just noise because Will was choking on blood and pain and collapsing into Merlin’s arms.

Merlin didn’t know what to do. The way the bolt was sticking out of Will’s chest, moving as he breathed in and out, horrified him. He knew that there was no help to be found, no medicine or bandages or potions that would save him. Will was bleeding to death before their eyes.

And it was all Merlin’s fault.

Arthur helped them carry Will into his mother’s hut, laid him down on the table as gently as any physician would, and then Will, unbelievably, told Arthur that he was the one who used magic, not Merlin.

As if that was the most important thing, as if Merlin’s secrets were more important than Will’s life.

Merlin blinked, and the numbness that had settled into his head was gone. He knew what he had to do. He wasn’t going to let Will die, not for him, not for anyone.

Grasping Will’s hand, Merlin started to whisper, too low for anyone else to hear, “ _Gehǣle, ġehǣle_.” Pouring all his magic into Will’s body, ignoring everything else. Discovery be damned.

But Will was a self-sacrificing arse. Even in his pain, he must have realized what Merlin was doing, how close he was to being exposed as a sorcerer. Coughing, he said, “It’s alright, Merlin.” Then glaring up at Arthur, he snapped, “Yeah, I’m the sorcerer. What you gonna do? Kill me?”

Eyes half-closed so that no one could see the gold in his eyes, Merlin was still pouring magic into Will, trying desperately to stop the bleeding, but thankfully, Arthur wasn’t paying any attention. Instead, he put a hand on Will’s shoulder, muttered something about Merlin helping Will as best he could and then left. The rest went with Arthur and then Will and Merlin were alone.

That made it so much easier.

Will was being ridiculous, talking about dying when Merlin wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Shut up, Will, I’m trying to concentrate,” Merlin said, then started chanting again, “ _Blódseten, benne_.”

“It’s too late, Merlin, it’s…” Will was choking on blood, an obscene trickle of it against his cheek.

“Shut the hell up and let me do this.” He reached over, and as he continued to chant, drawing more and more magic into his fingertips and pushing it back down, like a bright stream of light and power, into the wound, he carefully pulled out the bolt.

Will gave a little pained grunt, gasping for air as Merlin worked. It must have hurt like hell, but Merlin wasn’t going to let Will go, not in this lifetime. Not in any lifetime.

The bolt finally out, Merlin pushed more magic into the wound in Will’s chest. Even though Merlin was growing tired, even though he was reaching for the last of his power. After all, he’d generated the windstorm and battled bandits and his magic wasn’t infinite, but Merlin would rather die than lose Will.

Gritting his teeth, Merlin sought out the magic of the earth and sky, pulling healing energy from the dirt beneath his feet and the life hidden there, and the garden that his mum so carefully tended, and from his own heart, too.

He could feel himself faltering. Inside, somewhere in his chest, something was breaking and reaching out at the same time. Finally, finally Merlin could see Will’s wound closing up, turning pink and then scarring white and Will was breathing normally.

But he couldn’t seem to let go. Will was shouting at him, grabbing onto his shoulders and shaking him, “Stop, Merlin, you need to stop before it kills you. Stop.”

But he couldn’t, he couldn’t. His connection with all of life seemed to overwhelm him, the energy sparking harder and harder into him and out again. 

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, and he tried to tell Will that, but all he could do was stare into Will’s horrified face.

Then there was a sharp sting across his cheek, and he looked up at Will’s hand about to strike him again, and that was enough to break the connection.

The room spun a moment and then everything went black.

* * *

When he woke, his mum’s worried face was hovering over his. As she saw him looking up at her, she turned and calling out over her shoulder, said, “He’s awake.” Then she cupped his cheek in one hand and kissed his forehead. “Don’t you ever do that again. What were you thinking?”

His throat was dry from who-knows-what, but he managed to whisper, “Is Will okay?”

Another hand, rough from sword-fighting, held a cup to Merlin’s mouth, as Arthur said, “Drink. It has herbs to help you regain your strength.”

Stronger now, Merlin tried to sit up, but Hunith just pushed him back down again. “You are to rest for a while. And don’t even think about getting up before sunset.” She glanced around, then said, “Will is fine.” Frowning a little, her eyes flicked to where Arthur was standing, and said, more softly, “He said he used magic to heal himself and used you as a conduit. With your permission, of course.”

Arthur stood over the cot, scowling down at Merlin. “You almost died, you idiot. Will should never have done that. He could have killed you.”

“Will saved your life. The least I could do was save his,” Merlin muttered, frowning up at Arthur. Then he turned back to Hunith. “Where is he?”

Arthur said, his voice hard and cold, “He’s waiting outside.” Then he stomped out the door and even from Merlin’s bed, he could hear Arthur yelling at Will. “He’s awake, no thanks to you. If he’d have died, I’d have cut your throat and be done with it.”

“Mum, what?” Merlin frowned up at her, then as Will came in and stood where Arthur stood only a moment before, he said to Will, “Are you all right?”

Will shook his head, giving Merlin a look of disbelief. “Your royal pillock out there has a blood-thirsty streak a mile wide. He about took my head off when he saw you collapsed on the ground.” Scowling down at Merlin, Will said. “Don’t you ever _ever_ do that again. I could have killed you, you utter cabbage-head.”

“Well, next time, don’t get skewered with a crossbow, you arse.” Merlin reached over, clasping Will’s arm, and as Will leaned forward, Merlin whispered, “Why didn’t you tell Arthur the truth? He could have killed you.”

“Do I look like I’m afraid of that tosser?” Will nodded to Hunith. “I had to face your mum when you were looking like death warmed over. Pendragon was the least of my worries.”

Hunith gave Will a pat on his shoulder, then said, “I’ll let you two talk a while. Then Gwen and Morgana want to see you, too, and the others in the village.” With that, she left, and the two of them were alone.

“Merlin, you shouldn’t have done it. I really thought you were going to die. You looked so… dead.” Will looked furious and yet holding back grief as if he were reliving the moment over and over again.

Merlin shook his head. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Besides, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Glancing over his shoulder toward the hut’s door, seeing it was still closed and the two of them alone, in a quiet, furious voice, Will said, “Pendragon threatened to take me back for trial. He’s… why are you even in Camelot? It’s bloody dangerous and he’s not your friend, no matter how much you think you know him. Merlin, he’s never going to accept your magic.”

Then Will stood back, began pacing the floor, his hand scrubbing through his hair as if he didn’t know what else to do.

Pulling himself up a bit, Merlin leaned back on his elbows. “I know. It’s just… it’s hard to explain. He’s… my destiny.”

Will stopped, scowling down at Merlin. “Fuck destiny. He’ll kill you if he finds out. What kind of destiny is that?”

“Mine.” And it was. Merlin felt it down to the very marrow of his being. “Look, Will, I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t really understand it myself, but I feel complete there.”

Will seemed to think about it for a moment, then said, “I wasn’t a good enough friend for you?”

“You were and Mum is wonderful, but the others hated me. Even now they look at me as if I’m some kind of strange creature.” He pushed himself up, sitting on the bed, his legs dangling over the edge, his head spinning a little and then everything seemed to settle into place. He never felt so certain about anything as he did about where he was meant to be. “In Camelot, I have a place, and yes, it’s dangerous, but I can’t really explain it. I’m needed there in a way that I never was here.”

Will stood there a long time, glaring at Merlin as if he were going to change Merlin’s mind through sheer will power. When he saw that he wasn’t getting anywhere, Will gave a little sigh, then said, “Well, assuming Pendragon doesn’t drag me back to Camelot, I’m going away. To stay with my uncle in Greenbriar. I can start a new life there, now that everyone here thinks I have magic.”

Merlin hadn’t thought of that. Of course, they’d think Will had magic. Of course, they’d start expecting him to use his powers. Hell, King Cenred might come along and try and _persuade_ Will to use magic for nefarious reasons.

“Will, I’m so sorry,” Merlin said.

“Don’t be. When Pendragon’s not around, people have been thanking me for it.” Will shrugged, then said, “Since we both know I can’t conjure up a breeze, never mind a huge thing like that…, well, I was going to leave anyway. It’s been too quiet without you here and my uncle said he’ll teach me blacksmithing and gift me the forge when he retires so it’s good. Don’t worry about me.”

Merlin knew that Will had been unhappy in Ealdor for as long as he’d known him, especially after Will’s father died and he was left alone. It might actually be a good thing.

“Send word once you’ve settled. I’ll try and sneak away for a bit and we could get into trouble again, like the old days,” Merlin said, sending Will a quick grin that spoke of mischief and good memories.

“I’d like that.” Will grinned back and Merlin knew then that everything would be all right after all.

With that, it would seem half the village was pouring into the hut. Gwen and Morgana smiled down at him, giving him sweets to eat and telling him that he’d scared them half to death and not to do it again. The headman shook his hand. His mum stood to one side, her eyes worried, but smiling, too. It was almost like a celebration.

There was fussing and a promise of a party later that night and the headman told Hunith that they’d bring it all to Merlin since he was still weak.

He let it wash over him. He didn’t worry about anything else for the moment. He figured Arthur would be an arse about everything soon enough.

Besides, Merlin could never turn down a party.

* * *

At least Arthur waited until they were getting ready to leave before deciding to be an arse.

Finished up a few things for his mum before they left, Merlin could hear Arthur and Will arguing behind the hut. Their raised voices were loud even through the mostly-closed door.

Not wanting to interfere, because both of them could be wankers and he’d rather they talk it out instead of him being stuck in the middle _again_ , nevertheless, Merlin opened the door a little more.

Knowing Arthur, hell, knowing Will, Merlin wouldn’t be surprised to see the both of them going at it with punches and kicks if given half the chance. And while the prospect of them rolling in the mud at some point as each tried to gain the upper hand might be entertaining, Merlin was tired of all of it. And he’d have to clean Arthur’s kit afterwards anyway.

So, Merlin watched and waited. Just in case.

“You stay away from him.” Pointing a finger at Will, Arthur said, his voice sharp and deadly, “Because if you don’t, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

Will let out a laugh, as if he couldn’t believe that Arthur was threatening him. His eyes flicked down at the finger, then smirking, said, “You and what army?”

Merlin had to admit that if there were a way to make things worse, Will would find it. It had gotten them both in trouble more than once over the years.

Arthur flushed, scowling at him. “I’ve defeated sorcerers before. You would be no different. Stay away from him.”

Shaking his head, looking as if he couldn’t believe he’d have to say it, Will snapped back, “You don’t own him, Pendragon.”

“Magic is a plague and those who wield it are evil. If you think for an instant that I’d let you contaminate him with your sorcery, you don’t know me.”

Arthur was almost nose to nose with Will, both of them glaring at each other as if trying to draw first blood. At least, it hadn’t come to blows. Yet.

Will snarled at Arthur, “Does he know you? As you truly are? Because all I see is a royal arse with no sense of honour or compassion. A bully willing to use his power to destroy anyone who doesn’t agree with him. Merlin deserves better than you and your pompous hypocritical entitled twaddle.”

Then Will twisted away, his arms a whirlwind of energy and anger, muttering to himself about pillocks and idiots. Will kept turning round, walking back and forth as if trying to let out his fury in short sharp bursts of movement before he did something stupid.

Arthur must have recognized that Will was nearing the end of his rope, that things might escalate into blood and bitterness. Arthur stepped back, out of Will’s reach, watching him as Arthur said, “You saved my life, William, and for that I will always be grateful. But if you ever come to Camelot, do not expect clemency. The laws on sorcery are absolute.”

At that, Will stopped, staring at Arthur as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And are you going to lock up Merlin, too, then? Keep him prisoner because he associates with sorcerers? Or kill him? Chop off his head, burn him, watch him scream as the flames melt his flesh from his bones?”

“Of course not. How could you say such a thing?” Arthur looked horrified.

Shaking his head, staring at Arthur in disbelief, Will said, “I hear that Camelot executes those who give aid or comfort to sorcerers, that innkeepers were put to the sword because they inadvertently rented a room to a sorcerer. Why wouldn’t I think you’d not do the same, you and your laws?”

Arthur glared at him. “Merlin is safe with me.”

That just set Will off again. Stomping over to Arthur, his hands starting to curl into fists, Will shouted, “Merlin is in danger every second with you.”

Looking as if Will was about ready to punch Arthur, and Merlin didn’t want to have to clean up the mess after, Merlin rushed outside. Putting himself between Arthur and Will, Merlin shouted, “Will, stop.”

Will deflated. He still looked stubborn, grimacing as if he didn’t want to upset Merlin, but instead of yelling back, softer, he said, “Merlin, he….”

“Will, we talked about this. My place is at his side. I’m his servant and that’s where I want to be.” Merlin wanted Will to understand but it looked like he never would. Still, he loved him like a brother, and so instead of glaring at him, he gave Will a little smile. “Will….”

Will glared at Arthur a moment, then turned back to Merlin. “But Merlin….”

“Leave off, Will. Please.”

And with that, Will let out a little sigh, a sure sign that he would do it for Merlin’s sake. Still he had to get in one last dig at Arthur. “Fine. But if I find out he’s ever hurt you, I’ll find him and there will be one less arsehole prince around.”

Merlin just shook his head, then pulled him into a tight hug before letting him go. “I can always count on you to get us into trouble.”

“That’s the plan.” Will reached out, clasping Merlin’s arm, holding on just a while longer. He gave him a smile, too, hopeful and heart-warming, reminding Merlin of old times and new, of a lifetime of memories. “I’ll send word once I’ve settled.”

Merlin just grinned. “Don’t wait too long, okay? I’ll visit when I can.”

Will pulled Merlin in for another hug, then let him go. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Good-bye, Will,” Merlin said, and then watched as Will left, Will sending one last glare at Arthur before turning a corner and out of sight.

* * *

At least Arthur waited until Will was out of earshot before turning to Merlin. “Your friend, Will, is a trouble-maker but then I knew this even before the magic.” Glaring at Merlin, his voice flat and cold, he said, “You should have told me.”

Sometimes Arthur was unbelievable. After all, telling him that Will or anyone had magic might have set Arthur off and it certainly would have made things downright dangerous for anyone labelled a sorcerer, even in Cenred’s kingdom. 

“Tell you? Right. And then have you threaten him for something he can’t change?” Merlin said. “You would’ve likely taken his head off as listen.”

When Arthur just stood there, not giving an inch, being a total pillock about it, Merlin could have just stomped away and given up on ever reasoning with the arse, but instead, he hoped to get through that thick stubborn skull of Arthur’s. After all, Arthur thought that a sorcerer had saved his life and that should mean something.

“He was born with it, you arse.” Merlin glared at Arthur but didn’t look away. He wanted to make sure Arthur saw how serious Merlin was about it. “He grew up hating who he was because of people like you. Grew up thinking himself a monster when what he had was a gift. And if you can’t see that, I don’t know what else to say.”

At least Arthur was listening. Scowling at first, then looking puzzled when Merlin talked about Will being born with it, then back to stupid stubbornness, obviously a Pendragon trait, Arthur didn’t snap at Merlin, didn’t tell him to shut up. He stood there a moment, silent, before finally saying, “Magic is evil. It brings nothing but misery.”

“Yeah, got that. The magical windstorm that was conjured up certainly brought misery to those who would have lost their lives otherwise.” Merlin couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and he was shaking his head as the sheer stupidity of it all. Uther’s poison ran deep. “Open your eyes, Arthur. Magic isn’t just some horrible thing. It’s light and hope and helping others, too.”

Arthur looked at him as if Merlin had been hit in the head and was still addled from it. “You’ve been in Camelot long enough to have seen how magic destroys. We’ve plagues and assassination attempts and the living dead raised up to fight against us. All done using magic. How can you say it is anything but evil?”

“And saving Ealdor is evil? Chasing the bandits away when swords alone could not? And that evil sorcerer did save your life after all. Does that count for nothing?” Merlin said. He hoped he would get through to Arthur.

“Of course, it counts,” Arthur threw his hands up a moment, then scrubbed his fingers through his hair. “But one man’s unselfish act is not enough to change the laws. I’ve seen too much misery to think it was anything but an aberration. And my father certainly will not change the laws for me even if I asked him to do so. Which I will not.”

“Gods above, you are such a cabbage-head.”

Merlin would have stomped off and yelled at something, the pigs perhaps or Old Man Simmon’s tree, but Arthur grabbed his arm and kept him there.

But Arthur didn’t look happy about any of it. “If you feel this way… I’d release you from my service if that’s what you truly want. And you could… go with Will. If you like.”

Merlin looked down at Arthur’s hand, and Arthur let him go, grumbling as he did so.

Rubbing at his arm, Arthur had a strong grip and Merlin was sure there would be bruises later, Merlin said, “You are arrogant and pig-headed and supercilious and those are your better qualities.” But before Arthur could say anything, Merlin shook his head and said, “Will’s just as blind, and he learned long ago not to trust any of the nobility. But sometime when your head isn’t up your arse — which it is most of the time….”

“Hey…” Arthur said, frowning.

Merlin ignored him. “You aren’t bad, not really. And I think you have the makings of a great king. But for all your people, not just those with money or titles of nobility, but for common folk and yes, even those with magic. Because they are your people, too.”

“You really think that?” Arthur sounded almost surprised.

“Yes, clotpole, I really think that.” Merlin gave him a little smile, then gripped Arthur’s arm a moment before letting go. “But don’t let your head swell up too much about the great king thing. You won’t be able to fit through the banquet hall doors otherwise.”

“Oh, Merlin, never change.” Rolling his eyes, giving a little huff of laughter as he gazed at Merlin, Arthur turned solemn. “Just don’t… don’t say anything about magic around my father. He’s not as forgiving as I am.”

“He’s a…” Merlin started to say.

Arthur just gave him a look, not unlike what Gaius might do if he were there. “Watch it, he is your king.”

“No, you are.” Nodding his head, almost a bow as if acknowledging that Arthur would always be his king, Merlin said, “But I’ll be careful. And thank you.”

With that, Arthur smiled, then nodded toward the hut. “Say good-bye to your mum. We’re almost ready to leave.”

* * *

Merlin gave his mum another squeeze. Her hugs were always the best and he’d have to take the memory of them back with him to Camelot. “Take care, Mum. I’ll send you word when we arrive back at Camelot.”

As he let go, she didn’t really move away. Her hand on his arm, she leaned in, a soft whisper as she said, “Be careful, Merlin. Keep your secrets close.”

“You know me. I’m always careful.” The others were gathered by the edge of the village, waiting for him to say his farewells, far enough away that they couldn’t hear what he and Hunith were saying.

Merlin just grinned at her and shrugged, hoping to make her feel better. She worried enough for both of them.

But Hunith was having none of it. Frowning a little, with her other hand cupping his cheek, she said, “Oh, Merlin, you were never careful.” Glancing back to where Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen were waiting, she gave a little sigh and let go. “When you left, you were just a boy. But look at you now. I’m so proud of you.”

Giving her a kiss on her forehead, Merlin stepped back. “Mum, I have to go.”

She followed him a bit, saying. “Write to me. More than you do now.”

Merlin wrote her every week. It cost him a fortune in parchment and transport fees, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. She was too precious to him to ever make her feel that she was a burden.

“I will,” Merlin said, then gave her one last hug. “I love you.”

She stood by the hut as they rode away. And Will was standing next to her, waving good-bye.

Merlin waved back. He hoped to see them again before long. They were a part of his life, destiny be damned, and they always would be.

* * *

**Epilogue**

The ride back to Camelot took a lot out of Merlin. He was still tired from saving Will and there were times when he had to catch his breath. And his magic was still wonky at best. It wasn’t worrying Merlin, but he wasn’t blasé about it, either.

Gaius listened to the whole story, then turned frowning to his books. “Merlin, explain to me again exactly what you did and how you feel now when you try to use magic.”

Merlin hated when Gaius reached for his books. The man was a fountain of knowledge and usually when he had to go digging for information, it wasn’t good.

Still, Gaius was the best person to help, at the moment. Merlin really didn’t want to go to the dragon. That lizard never gave him a straight answer anyway.

Letting out a sigh, Merlin said, “It’s funny you should mention that. Most things, I’ve no trouble with at all. In fact, sometimes it’s hard to keep it from blowing up in my face. Sometimes my magic just wants to escape and play and I end up having to go into the woods to let it out.” Gaius just gave him the eyebrow of doom. Merlin hadn’t told him about his little outings, and he was sure Gaius wouldn’t have approved anyway. “But… I was never particularly good at healing and now I can barely feel anything when I try. It’s like something is wrong or off or keeping me from using it.”

Gaius looked even more unhappy. But he didn’t tell Merlin that he was an idiot, just said, “When you healed Will, did you feel something break, deep inside?”

That’s exactly what happened. Merlin hadn’t paid much attention to it because he was too busy trying to save Will’s life. Still, Merlin’s worry began to ratchet up.

“Yes, and then the magic kept getting harder and harder to contain. At one point, I thought it would backfire and I’d lose control, but Will hit me and knocked me out and when I came to, I was weak as a kitten. But I got better. Didn’t I?” Merlin said.

Gaius reached over and opened a book, then handed it to Merlin. With his other hand, he had a volume on his lap and began to riffle through it. Almost absentmindedly, Gaius said, “I’m sure it’s nothing. Just a bit of backflash of your powers. Your healing abilities will return, poor as they are. I’m sure of it. And this will give you all the more reason to study harder.” 

When Merlin just sat there, mouth open, worried, Gaius patted Merlin’s hand. “We know Arthur injures himself more than most. At some point, you may need to call on your unique skills. So, I’ll give you some books to read.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. As if he had time for reading when the prat was loading him up with ridiculous chores. “Oh, ugh, more studying.”

“Yes, Merlin, more studying. And don’t think I won’t quiz you on it later,” Gaius said, his eyebrow higher than normal, then he turned away and began reading.

But it wasn’t until months later that they learned what had happened.

Merlin saving Will when it was Will’s destiny to die that day had come at a cost. And while Merlin may have been the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth, Merlin’s meagre healing abilities never strengthened. Indeed, they became non-existent.

And eventually, no matter how hard he tried, Merlin couldn’t heal the man he loved above all others.

Magic always had a price. Always.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Not betaed. Sorry. Some dialogue is from The Moment of Truth written by Ben Vanstone but not in the order in which it was spoken in the script. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


End file.
